Pizza Squared in SOMA

Square pizza is making a comeback. Or did it ever really go away? Seems I remember when I was in high school there were always these square pizzas on pizza day which came with supposedly sausage and some weird waxy cheese meant to be mozzarella. As a teen, it was wonderful and terrible all at the same time. Though I feel like square slices have been around SF for ages or as long as I’ve been here, they were just called something else like focaccia pizza or better yet, just pizza at Golden Boy Pizza in North Beach. But seemingly out of nowhere in the last couple years (COVID be damned!) three spots have opened up specializing in square pizza calling it Detroit style pizza. One of those is Pizza Squared in SOMA. (The others I’ll try eventually)

What is Detroit style pizza? It is basically a rectangular crust with a thick chewy crust where the cheese is put on first followed by toppings then followed by the tomato sauce. Sort of a pizza in reverse. San Francisco is a pizza rich town and and think as I have stated before, sometimes you gotta have a gimmick or the most exceptional pizza, to really stand out among the crowd. And now more so than ever as many restaurants are still only open for take-out and delivery and pizza is always at the top of everyones list of easy to order foods. Not to mention, we all seem to have our likes and faves around town because not every spot is always accessible to ones particular delivery area.

For Pizza Squared, it is close enough (that means a bit of walk) that I can stretch my legs and pop over there to pick up a slice or two for take-out, which is something I did on two different occasions since I wanted to try as many as possible…of course. It is a tiny spot in a new apartment complex near the Bed, Bath & Beyond and Trader Joe’s around 9th and Brannan so you can make it full stop and shop if you need anything at those places too.

Going inside (one at a time) they actually have two types of square pizza. The Detroit thick style and then a Sicilian thinner crust style for those folks who wanna watch their carb intake. But hey, who am I to argue and seeing as how my hunger is always bigger than my stomach, I’m just going to get a slice of each to compare. It is why I am here after all.

Here we have caramelized onion, gruyere cheese, mozzarella, garlic ricotta cream and chives. And to be honest, it is quite a hefty slice of pizza. In fact, it could easily cut in half for two servings. The do warm it up quickly in a super heated oven for you and even on the walk back home, it stayed warm. It is loaded with toppings and cheese and this combo really pleased my taste buds. The sweetness of the onions, the bite of garlic, the rich ricotta and tang of the gruyere made for some satisfying eating. Sweet, chewy, creamy and cheesy—I mean how could you miss?! As for the crust….

You can see it is airy and fluffed up, much like focaccia bread. It has a chewy but soft spring to it along with a crispy almost buttery bottom. It is thick and hearty and you definitely feel like you are getting your full pizza appetite fulfilled. I mean fluffy, buttery bread with cheese, meat and veggies? it is like a luscious open faced sandwich. But it isn’t all about the Detroit style here, they are also serving up traditional Sicilian squares too. And what is that you say?

Sicilian is a focaccia type of pizza but is not as thick as the Detroit style. I’d say it is about half as thick, but the crust still has pillowy, buttery aspects too. In essence you are getting less crust and thus is can really come down to the toppings to make it stand out or fall down.

Thus the reason I was intrigued by their bulgogi meatball pizza. I’m kind of a fan of bulgogi and its thin meat slices full or bbq char and spice. And the idea of recreating it in a meatball on a pizza with some kimchi—I was sold by the description alone. They also add in some red tomato sauce, mozzarella and green onion to try and round it all out. While the crust stood up to some tender crunchy focaccia-ness, I think I was let down by the meatball and sparseness of the kimchi. I guess I was expecting some kick to the mouth from spice or gochujang pepper sauce or even the kimchi but it all sort of blended together as really more of a basic sausage and cabbage like pizza slice. While that may sound unappealing, it wasn’t like this tasted terrible, it was fine, just not the real bulgogi experience I wanted. I could have used more kick or even more kimchi to at least give the impression of a reinvented Korean staple.

At this point I was at a 50/50 win loss rate, but of course this didn’t stop me from going back a month or so later to see what other things they might be trying as “not your normal toppings.”

Lo and behold, this time around they’ve ventured to the Pacific for some Thai chicken curry pizza Detroit Style. Chicken, mozzarella, red peppers, cilantro, fried shallots, red onion and Thai curry sauce. Looks nice and colorful and I had high hopes, which after one bite were somewhat dashed. The chicken was a little on the dry side and to be honest, the spicy smack I was looking for from the curry was completely missing. Sweetness of the shallots and mild green from cilantro are there but, again, they seem to have paired down on the spice. Whether from public consumption or personal taste, I don’t know, I just wish they could take the gloves off a bit and let the spice train roll like you’d find in traditional dishes at a Thai restaurant. Sure, we all know I’m not the biggest Thai food fan (small portions—large prices) but I could get on board with some Thai pizza, it they really lean into it. Though, no coconut curry stuff. Coconut doesn’t belong on a pizza just like pineapple doesn’t belong on a pizza—NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS!!!!

Yet, for whatever reason, I’m not deterred on trying something else like the mushroom pesto Sicilian style pizza. Roasted crimini and oyster mushrooms with mozzarella and Romano cheese, pesto sauce and a garlic ricotta cream. The cream I think is what really takes this to another level. It is rich tangy and sweet which blends with the earthy mushrooms and grassy pesto for a real vegetarian delight of a pizza slice. Funny how the best of the slices I had were mushroom veggie variety.

While two of the slices were sinfully tasty, the other two weren’t like terrible or anything. I mean, it is pizza after all and just getting the crust and cheese right can go a long way. What really brought me liking this place all the way home was the $5.50 cost per slice. That is right, thick large slices for a fiver and some change! And they are just as filling as a $10 or more sandwich? Whaaaat?! In San Francisco?! I’m shocked! Yet satiated.

Sure, they could really push the spice in some of their specialty offerings but for price, value and taste of what you get, Pizza Squared can’t be beat in these “I might not have a job or place to live soon” times. You can order up by the slice or the whole square pie and be comforted in your sometime COVID social distancing take-out that you got your money and tastebuds worth in one fell swoop.